Happy, Free, Confused, and Lonely

Wait...real life isn't really like this?!

Wait…real life isn’t really like this?!

I remember when I was just a tween and I was thinking about being “grown-up.” Twelve-year-old me thought twenty-something me would be such an adult–fancy job, apartment, lavish vacations, and able to buy anything and everything I wanted (ha!). Basically, I thought my life was going to be like the lives of twenty-somethings in the movies. Reality check: I’m still waiting for (most of) this to happen. It’s nice to know I’m not the only twenty-something who doesn’t think of herself as a “grown-up” though (12-year-old me would be so disappointed). That being said, I want you to meet our newest guest blogger, Grace. She also knows what it’s like to be a twenty-something and still not be living that ultra-glam lifestyle…

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I’m sprawled across my queen-sized bed at my parents’ house trying to figure out how in the hell I’m suppose to go about writing a cover letter. Yes, I’m a recent college grad. I graduated with a degree in Communications from the University of Alabama (which happens to be one of the top schools for  communication in the U.S), and now that I’ve established I’m not stupid, can someone please tell me why I’m having so much trouble putting together a simple cover letter? Why of course, it’s because they didn’t teach that in school. They did however, teach us how to bubble in a scantron sheet, pull an all-nighter, use an outdated encyclopedia, and other completely irrelevant shit. All our lives we’re taught and believe that the things we learn in school will somehow help us to navigate the sea of life. But what really happens after we graduate? We find the whole ocean at our feet, just waiting to swallow us whole. We find out that we in fact, don’t have a clue.

That pretty much sums up where I am at this phase in my life. I like to think of it as “the other awkward age.” (The “awkward age” being those horrendous middle-school years – need I say more?) You feel too old for college, but incredibly too small for the real world. You’re not a kid anymore, but not quite yet an adult. You might feel a great sense of freedom, but an even stronger sense of fear holding you back.

Just the other day I heard a stranger in the checkout line at a shoe store say to her daughter, “Let this lady go ahead of us.” She was referring to me. Me, a lady?! The term felt so foreign to me… It was all I could think about for the next few minutes. I’m just a kid, or at least I feel like one in a sense. Truth be told, I STILL haven’t mastered the art of walking in heels, and I’m lucky if I can heat up leftovers without setting the house on fire.

Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like 22 should be an age to take a hiatus from life (if only). It’s a year to make mistakes, take risks, try something new, reflect on who you’ve been, and find out who it is you want to be. Even though I know this is an exciting time in my life, it’s hard because nothing’s mapped out the way it has been for the past 22 years. Maybe, just maybe, something good will come out of all this waiting, and I’ll eventually find out who it is I’m suppose to be. Meanwhile I’ll just keep lying here pining away for my college years, and praying I make new friends soon.

~Grace

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One Response to Happy, Free, Confused, and Lonely

  1. Brittany says:

    Hahaha.. being called a “lady” or even worse… “mam”… hate that!! Love this post. Thanks for sharing!

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