How to: Get All the (Classy) Girls to Ignore You

Ah, the joys of the single life.  Sure you get to do whatever you want, with whoever you want…BUT you also have to to deal with all the creeps. Sometimes you just wish you had a guy–any guy–standing next to you at act like a buffer from all the less-than-acceptable guys that (undoubtedly) hit on you (every time you go out).

I know, dating can be confusing. What to wear, where to go on a date, how soon to text back…or should you call?

So guys, this one’s for you. Presenting:

Some of the worst ways to pick up girls
and ways to guarantee you’ll never get a call (or text) back.

  • Don’t show her your military ID and think it’s going to make her want to talk to you –especially if her friends have already tried ignoring you. Twice.
  • Your pick up line should not be making fun of the older couple on the dance floor. She just met you. Don’t expect her to stand there and bad-mouth people with you.  This also makes you seem like a jerk. Hardly incentive for anyone to give you a second glance.
  • If she tells you she likes fashion, feel free to compliment her, but seriously, don’t take apart her outfit and ask how much she paid for her dress, shoes, clutch, etc. That kind of behavior will freak her  out. Unless it’s been charged to your card–don’t worry about it.
  • Speaking of freaking her out, don’t tell her she’s your soul mate…ever. So what if you both don’t like something? It doesn’t mean you should move in together and have kids.

  • If a girl offers to pay for herself on the first date–don’t just take it! Do you want to look cheap? Of course, there are some exceptions to the rule though.  For example, if the girl picked an outrageously expensive restaurant. Then she deserves to pay for all (or part) of her meal.
  • Applebee’s, Chili’s, Uno’s, any other chain restaurant. Seriously, don’t take a girl here. At least put a little effort into the date!  Don’t get me wrong there’s nothing wrong with these places, but they’re not first date worthy.
  • No day trips. That’s just creepy. What the heck are you going to do if you’re both having a bad time? Talk about not having an easy escape…
  • Don’t pick her up in your filthy car (I’m talking about the interior). You shouldn’t be expecting her to move protein bar wrappers or dirty clothes off your seat just so she can sit down.
  • Don’t tag your location on Facebook or Tweet that the two of your are out together.  You’re on a date–why is your cell phone even out?!
  • Speaking of cell phones…don’t text the whole date or even think about answering your phone.  You’re basically telling her that she’s boring.  Obviously, there are always emergency exceptions to this rule.
  • Don’t bring her a gift on the first date.  It looks like you’re trying too hard. And really, do you want to make her feel obligated to go on a second date?

Ladies, you know I could go on about this forever, but this post is already getting way too long.  So let me know what I missed, @20sTweet!

~J

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