We rarely touch upon relationships here on TwentyTweets, but I have to admit, they are a HUGE part of a twenty-something’s life, whether you’re in one or not. Our friends over at Sorry4TheBlog.com were kind enough to touch upon this practically taboo topic for a special guest spot here on TwentyTweets. Not only is their blog pretty sweet, but completely from the male point-of-view. Now what exactly could a bunch of guys have to say about relationships? Kabir, one of their talented writers, provided us with his insight on the ever-controversial topic of “talking”… or the art of being (kind of) single.
Even if your relationship status on Facebook says single, the odds are you aren’t running completely solo. With movies like Friends with Benefits and No Strings Attached glamorizing the idea of a single-but-not scenario, it only seems right to have someone to fall back on… right? So what gives? Kabir fills us in on how he thinks single twenty-somethings should spend their prime years. Moral of the story? Give yourself some me time, you owe it to yourself.
I hate discussing relationships. None of the conversations are ever productive to me. Discussions usually turn into mean and spiteful bashing of a few members of a gender and another person calling out these generalizations. So what’s the point? Many of us are cheating on one another, obsessed with the wrong person, or even worse… in what we think is “love” with the aforementioned wrong person. Oh, and that’s all while having sex with whoever. This is vicious cycle that many of us are in, and it’s not only physically unhealthy, but mentally as well.
Many of us are never truly “single.” It seems like we’re either running from ourselves or we hate being alone. Take a minute to think about this: when was the last time you weren’t romantically involved with ANYONE? Meaning you weren’t talking, texting with intent to pursue, sexting, going out with, having sex with, or breaking up with someone? For many of us it has been years! This may been since you were as young as 14 or 15, but for this article’s sake, let’s say 17. Assuming those of you reading this are 20, this means you haven’t had much time to yourself in three or more years! Think about the significance of that.
Those years are critical in terms of personal growth. People go from immature teenagers to irresponsible young adults pretty quickly. And if you’ve been with a multitude of partners, then you haven’t had much time to sit down and reflect or learn from mistakes. Plus, all of your brainpower was being used pondering on potential partners, current partners, or previous ones. No time thinking about yourself. No thought on what your weakness are that led to break ups or characteristics you display that attract the wrong man or woman.
As harsh as this may sound, I think many of us are afraid to be alone because we secretly hate ourselves. Maybe you hate your physical appearance and feel your partner is doing you a favor by being with you. Or you may hate some of the decisions and lifestyle choices you’ve made, so you’re using your partner(s) to run from that. We don’t want to be alone with our thoughts so we spend all or mental energy on another person, potentially stunting our own spiritual growth. I don’t think women understand the importance of letting their body heal after sleeping with a man. And men should realize that the universe has its way of getting you back with daughters for your behavior now.
I challenge you all to take some time off relationships, in the most absolute sense. Really try and meditate and look inwards at yourself and your reality. Plus you all know the added stress you put upon yourself with all these partners. So, when you break up with someone, don’t continue to have sex with them for a few months… or ever again. Give the whole “Friends with Benefits” thing a break for a bit. And maybe don’t “talk” with anyone for a few months. I swear, you’re cooler than you give yourself credit for. I promise.
I mean, if you had hotties like Friends with Benefits stars Justin Timberlake or (Brittni’s dream woman ;)) Milas Kunis propositioning you with such a scenario, I say take it. But other wise, why wouldn’t you want some alone time? Sound off about this topic! @20sTweet or @Sorry4TheBlog.