PSA: Stop Talking About Yourself

Because Freaky Friday with Sam on Forever Twenty Somethings was such a hit, we’ve decided to introduce a new opportunity to all of our TwentyTweeters out there! Is there something that you want to share with all of us? Consider becoming a guest writer! This week, I’d like to introduce a very special TwentyTweets guest… He’s special because… he’s my boyfriend! But really, I’m super excited to share Mark’s PSA with all of you. He makes some fabulous points… Read on!

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Public Service Announcement: Stop Talking About Yourself

We all have different categories of friends, girls and guys alike; we have our fun friends who you drink with on a Wednesday night, the close friends who know all the details, and the ones who like to tell you stories about themselves and think that qualifies as friendship.  I guess it’s just the next stage of bragging, but it feels too much like middle school, and really grinds my gears.

What exactly am I referring to?

“Hey Mark, how’s the job search going?”

“Great, Melvin! Just got a job at – “

“Oh yeah. So I’ve been working for this company for a while, it’s awesome, they give out free donuts and healthcare and stuff.  Literally the best job in the world ever, and certainly better than your job, which I don’t actually want to hear about.”

Do you know who I’m talking about?  We all have them in our lives.  These are the people who tag along because you’re a good listener and they like to talk about their self-awesomeness.  For the point of this post, we’ll call them Melvin. They don’t have any interest in a conversation, but show up with a prepared monologue on every subject.  Just got a new dog?  Oh, well Melvin got a better dog that gets beers from his fridge.  Just got engaged?  Well Melvin has a new booty call, and he could have got engaged, but commitment is just giving up.  Wanna watch this funny video about the guy with the coon hat?  Well Melvin has a better one queued up before you’ve even finished watching Coonman.

There are few things that I dislike more than Melvin. Melvin has a better story then you, a better job then you, a funnier joke then you, and a hotter lady then you.  Granted, I may be a bum with no job and nothing important to say (although I prob have the hotter lady, E)… at least I have the ability to listen.  While normal people hang out thinking, “let’s have some fun and get weird,” Melvin just wants to find new people who he can tell his stories to.

My point: To boycott all Melvins. Not abandon them, just stop fake laughing at their stories. When they interrupt your friend, call them out.  I see it all the time, and I’m guilty of it myself.  We’re too nice to them and need to stop humoring their intolerable behavior.  Stop it.  Just stop it.  If you humor them, not only will you suffer through 37 stories about winning, but then I look the asshole for actually calling them out.  We need a unified boycott to send the message… The world does not revolve around Melvin.

Do it.  Just do it.

~Mark

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